Man, smell those lilacs

Last week was a tough week with the loss of a good buddy. As I exited the church, I was engulfed in anger and unfortunately for me, and some of the dearest people close to me, they bore the brunt of my angry words, actions, and thoughts. What set me off was Dukie’s eulogy. I was left with an emptiness that did not get comforted or filled with Father Jim’s attempt at a farewell address. This is where my trouble started. In my short-sighted, self-centered, self-pleasing perfection, I failed to recognize that I was not the only one struggling and maybe just maybe, poor old Father Jim could be afforded the same challenge, as he was much closer down the stretch than I was. So to correct all this, I am sorry to my wife, my mother, Father Jim and anyone else who suffered from my shortcomings following the service.

That got me to thinking. I know before you even utter the words, that me thinking, is dangerous in its own regard. As I said, I started thinking an tried to draw a parallel to my everyday life and this is what I came up with. I coach and train salespeople every day and I challenge then after every interaction to ask themselves a series of questions. These questions are; What did I do right? What did I do wrong? What would I change? What would I not do again? and finally, What Lesson did I come away with that I can use the next time I interact with a potential client? This leads me to what would I have said if I were delivering the eulogy, which led to, what would I say if I had to write my own.

I tried to think of the five questions during my reflections and it turned out to be a very humbling experience. I always tend to be critical in self-analysis so my answers fell like this. I have always tried to bring fun and enjoyment into the lives of others but in the process, I have sometimes forgotten who I am. This takes a toll and sometimes it leaves you empty and incomplete. My greatest fault is that by trying to please the whole world, I over-promise and under-deliver while stretching myself beyond my own limits and boundaries. I would become a better listener and I would take time to learn from others rather than challenging each new frontier without a game plan or map. The greatest lesson would be to enjoy the small pleasures and become patient. My ambition, sometimes, burns up opportunities.

The neat part of this exercise is that we all can do the same each and every day and if we record and review how our perspective changes, we will be amazed how we tune into our surroundings. I am great at preaching but I am a poor practicer. So I did something tonight that I did not want to do. I went for a walk and I said to myself, I am going to punish you for being such a great excuse maker and tonight we are going to do the long route. As I trudged through this next six clicks, I kept trying to see things from a different view when I raised my hear and walked directly into a branch of beautiful lilacs. All of a sudden the anger seemed to dissipate and for the first time in a week, I felt human again. It was then I realized, that the world was not wrong, it was my perspective that was clouded and that branch was a way of snapping me back to reality. It forced me to recognize that the smallest gifts can have the largest impact if we only stop to smell on our journey through life.